January To Me

Cheers, friends! Today starts a 365-day journey into the unknown and I, for one, am here for it.

Today's first act of business was to shake off sleep and greet the morning... then get slapped by the bracing cold. This year is apparently taking winter seriously. Once the car was warmed to bun-toasting levels, the kids and I headed down the work commute {the McDonald's business waits for no one}. I was the solo car on the highway this morning, weaving around the familiar turns, carefully navigating them for the first time this year. Thoughts danced in my head as the hum of the road put the kids back to sleep.

In recent years, I have used this blog to write a letter to every month. There have been a few times I've dreaded impending days, but mostly I've used those posts to detail my highlights of each season. I think we're going to flip it a bit for 2018. Today I'm starting my personal prompt of treating each month as if it were a place. Read on for my quickly jotted first try. Cheers to new beginnings!

January, to me, is a door beside which my size pales in comparison. It is the threshold to a year of experiences I can in no way predict. On the other side is a place I've only seen in my dreams. I have thought long and hard about where I want the New Year to take me, and from this side of things it's incredible. It's a place where I can smash goals, have a more relaxed and lighter attitude, and live a beautiful life with my family.

I know it's cold and bleak on the other side of the door, and the grey skies match the sad living rooms now missing Christmas trees and holly berries. I know the colors are drained at the start of the year. The trees show no sign of life and animals hold still to huddle together in warmth. I know I'll curse the wind when its chill is in the single digits, and I know beyond January's door is a lifeless garden, not willing to be turned.

While I know what the other side of the door looks like, it's still a place that holds hope. The empty fields and empty calendars lie waiting to be filled. I can either dwell on the emptiness or set into motion a course of planning.

I look up at the door, standing so small beneath it. I know what it looks like on the other side, yet I still don't know what I'll be inspired to do with it.

All I can do now is turn the handle and push it open.

---

I'm not always a fan of resolving change each January. I believe in the constant slow-burn kind of change, pushing forward while giving myself grace to step back, too. I suppose if I type them into the universe it probably makes them resolutions, but following are a few of my plans for the year:

1. I want to write more often.
2. I want to take better care of myself.
3. I want to devote more time to adventures with our family of five.
4. I want to let go of anxiety and be present in my life.
5. I want to keep sacred my time alone with Jonathan.

Those are the focuses I'd like to keep for 2018, and they all have a similar theme of ME. That may sound a little selfish, but it actually feels perfect. Let's take care of ourselves so we can take care of each other this year.

Here's to the start of 2018, friends! Make it a good one.

Dear December

Maybe it's just me and my anxiety, but the homestretch of anything is a bit intimidating.

Did I do everything I was supposed to do? Did I grow enough? Change enough? Learn enough? Did I leave a big enough mark to let it lie and move forward? Basically, is this project ready to turn in?

This year is just a handful of weeks from being due to the teacher and at this point {as always} I'm wondering what happened to the rest of it. While it's not over yet, I already find myself going back to check my work. Although the shocking realization of unpreparedness is part of all my Decembers, I am glad the year ends with such hope. Advent is a beautiful time {you know, after the Christmas decorating's done} and I love that we spend time remembering we're waiting for more than a simple calendar flip. It's a huge reminder/reality check for my stress levels.

While today is the beginning of the end, I'd rather not fret over making most of what's left. So I shall turn this post into a wish list. 'Tis the season, after all. Following are a few things I have written to the month of December to help make this a both holly and jolly season:


Dear December,

I wish you would bring snow! But, you know, just enough to where it looks pretty for exactly one day and then melts completely the next. Thanks in advance.

I wish the magic you put into my children's eyes could never fade. Interest in Santa and Rudolph and maybe even Buddy will wane over time, but I pray the magic stays.

I wish for the ability to help my kids realize where that magic comes from. This holiday season is not just one of merriment, but one of patience. Help us prepare as we wait for the greatest gift of all.

I wish for a little extra time, December. It's a jam-packed month, but I'd like to spend some of those frosty nights in the hot tub with my love.

I wish for long quiet mornings lit by the Christmas tree and warmed by a coffee cup.

I wish for willpower when it comes to all those holiday Ghiradelli squares. You know the ones.

I wish to actually, truly surprise my husband with a birthday gift this year. Or at least spend some QT with him if I can't keep a secret.

I wish to not be home when the UPS man comes to my house every single day this month. Amazon Prime, you and your free shipping are killing the game.

I wish to sleep until at least 6:00 on December 25. Can we this year, kids? Please?

I wish to soak in every last drop of the holidays this year. Time is doing nothing but moving and it's taking my babies with it. I want to live through their joy and hold on to the magic.


What are you wishing for this December?
Have a wonderful weekend, y'all.

Dear November

Last week October quietly rolled into November... when we stashed the leftover candy and started eyeing the Christmas decor.

I'm not one of the many who put their Christmas trees up the second they tossed their jack-o-lanterns, but I'm sure this month will see the Bauer halls decked. I love the holiday spirit that comes with the start of November. I'm not just talking about the commercials jam-packed with the latest and greatest toys, either. {Thanks a lot, Nick Jr.} I mean the feeling that the holidays bring. November marks a date that could easily be my favorite holiday, so we're going to kick this week off in style. Today I am going to tell the eleventh month of the year exactly how I feel about it.

Dear November,

I am thankful for you because you transform my commute. Our part of the world is at peak fall color and the splashes of orange and yellow hidden among the green is good for my soul.

I am thankful for the way your leaves show me it's good to let things go.

I am thankful for the way you bring people together, over turkey and football and memories and tradition.

I am thankful for the way you give pause to the year's end. The calendar is so close to winding down and starting over, but November asks us to stop and see the good.

I am thankful for the way you encourage us to consider the things we take for granted. There is so much I forget to count as blessings.

I am thankful for your days of cardigans, boots, and wind-swept hair.

I am thankful for your hot tub nights beneath the stars that remind us we are a tiny part of something incredible.

I am thankful for the fact that your air is often a cross between crackling fire and the crisp early signs of wintertime.

I am thankful for your early sunsets because it's a lot easier to trick kids into early bedtimes.

I am thankful for your call to appreciate what we have. While human nature is longing for what we miss, a good life is lived truly thankful for what we have. I know I have more than enough, and this month I want to steer all my focus into pouring out thanks.

To a season of both thanks and giving, here's to you, November.

May your month be filled with good food, good family, and a good focus on gratitude.
Happy Monday!

Dear October

Dear October,

Welcome! Your thirty-one days bring a crisp freshness not found in the month before you {at least not around these parts}. Sure, I might have changed into a tank top after church on the day you showed up, but I know you'll make things more comfortable before too long.

October, you are the follow-up to one of my least-favorite months. Personally, I believe September ranks second, only after the dreary, grey January days that drag winter long past Christmas. September, with its summer-ending tendencies, but still soaring temperatures... If you're going to to use one of your calendar squares to replace summer with fall, at least let us wear pants?! But, I digress.

My dear October, I am glad you are here. The deep orange and burgundy and golden accents set against a forest green backdrop will soon usher in revival to my soul. My summer skin will fade to its natural shade and my senses will no longer be smothered beneath the oppressive heat. While September brings summer in and out {and in and out again}, October replaces it with something new. I may not be of the PSL, scarf-slinging, furry boot variety, but change is good.

Change is inevitable, so why not let it come in the form of leaf-hidden highways and pumpkins on the porch?

October, you bring about a time of year that forces my attention. I sit up a little straighter than in the lazy days of summer and I notice all that whirls around me. October is a personal reminder that life is so much faster than we realize. As the colors change and humanity {re: Hobby Lobby} starts hurdling through the holidays at lightning speed, sometimes you feel rushed. But in this quick descent toward a new year, I'd like to take a second look.

Each year I've lived has been faster than the one before, but I intend to stretch your days, October.
I want to be awake as the seasons change.

As for this particular round, you are going to show me some new things, October. Soon I will board an airplane for the first time since Owen was board and fly to California for the first time in my life. I'm going to see the hills covered in grapevines and I'm going to soak in a new piece of God's creation. {I may drink more than enough wine for the both of us, so bear with me.}

Adventures await, October, and I'm looking forward to it. I have a feeling that when the cool breezes start blowing and you urge me to grab the flannel shirts from the back of my closet, we're going to get along just fine.

Staying present is the name of the game this October, and from the early days when we're still sweating at soccer games to the last day filled with tricks and treats, I hope to reconnect in a new way. With nature, with time, and with myself.

Happy October, y'all. Let's open our eyes and enjoy it!

Dear September

Hello, September! Bring on the breathable air, cool breeze, and fresh pace.

The calendar page turned, Arkansas already won a football game, and hallways are brimming with school colors and spirit. Heck, last night Jonathan and I traveled to Memphis and when we arrived at the hotel, it was 64 degrees. My husband thought I was crazy for asking if sleet was mixed with the rain, but anything other than summer weather is frigid to me. I know it's not fall yet, but it's in the air.

We are three weeks into the school year and minutes from the first three-day weekend. The kids have all settled into new routines with ease. They're getting their homework done when we walk through the door and they've even aced a few tests already. I know things will start to drag when the novelty wears off, but you can color me impressed today.

Enough about those kids, though, today I'm here to answer a few questions about my current state of life now that September has arrived. Read on to see what's up:

1. Favorite Thing: I love the routine that comes with school. I don't know if I would call myself a trademarked "Morning Person" but there's something magical about waking up early enough to enjoy coffee while your older kids dress themselves.
   
   
2. Planning: Right now I'm deep in planning for our first full year of teaching high school religious education. Class doesn't start until September 17, but I'm lesson planning and vision making and Googling nonstop.
   
   
3. Eating: It's not often I use the phrase fine dining, but I sure enjoy it. Tonight my husband and I will try famed Memphis restaurant Folk's Folly. There are white tablecloths and foods I've never seen. I can't wait!
   
   
4. Drinking: A large unsweetened tea with lemon from McAlister's. I know this doesn't count as "what I'm drinking in September" but it's what I'm drinking right now and it's amazing. The actual answer is probably wine, to be frank.
   
   
5. Wearing: Most of you know my wardrobe is jeans and/or gym shorts and t-shirts, so I'm the last person to give fashion advice. I will say one makeup item I've been enjoying is the Morphe 9N Blush Palette. I've never been a pink blush girl because I have a lot of redness, but the colors in this are lovely. There are great neutral peach and mauve tones, and they blend beautifully with my go-to bronzer.
   
   
6. Listening to: Nothing! I have enjoyed two of those all-by-myself Fridays I told you about a month ago, and it was weird at first. What am I supposed to do when I'm completely alone? The answer has been a little cleaning, a little writing, and spontaneous naps. I ain't mad at it.
   
   
7. Enjoying: My little corner of Arkansas. Our September calendar is full of local events, including the county fair and a movie in the park {would you believe they chose Nora's beloved Beauty and the Beast!?}. I love the feeling that comes with small-town football season.
   
   
8. Current Project: Our classroom! This year we'll be teaching in the same room we hold youth events, so we get to make it ours. I have bulletin board supplies, laminated letters, and a head full of ideas. We've decided the theme of the year is becoming a saint {anyone can do it!} and we're starting on the room this Sunday.
   
   
9. Hoping for: Health and happiness? If we can keep those on lock, we're golden.
   
   
10. Doing: Tearing out the summer garden. There are a few plants still clinging to life, as I wrote about last week, but soon we will demolish and get the soil ready for next year. I also have plans to renovate two raised beds and fill them with strawberry plants and I have my eye on adding berry bushes, too. Maybe we'll get into the jam and jelly business!
    
    

That's a good sample of our to-do list for September. What are you looking forward to this month?

Dear August... {thank you}

The calendar flipped on Tuesday morning and the groans began.

"It's August already?!" I do my best to spice up the idea of back-to-school with exciting backpack options and the return of recess, but it's not a positive topic around here. But while the boys dread the return of alarms, I just sip my tea and grin. If you have read here before, you know I love summer. The hot thick air, the garden chores, the pool days, and the blue skies sustain me in the cold. However. Though August means fewer opportunities for fun in the sun for my kids, it's a little different for me. Let me tell you why.

Last weekend Jonathan and I spent a glorious 48 hours in the Spa-ahhh City. We sat at restaurant tables for hours and spent afternoons in bed. We didn't turn the TV on once. I napped. I got an 85-minute massage. There were hot stones. I might have cried a little at the sheer relaxation of it all. While this was an incredible and much-needed escape, it was right back to reality. But now that August is here, my dream of frequent quiet is about to be realized.

In my last post I talked about how strange it feels for Nora to be starting preschool. The flip side of that is all three kids will have places to go on Fridays. And I will not. I don't work on Fridays, but for the past eight years we have lived here, I've spent the last weekday with whatever collection of children I had who were not in a full-time school situation. I cherish Fridays for catching up on laundry and cleaning and not technically having to get dressed, but I've never counted it as a true day off.

My ship has come in.

Beginning the week of August 14, I will be the only person in my house every Friday until 3:00. I'm going to just take a second and let that fully sink in. Especially since I've been trying to write this post since Wednesday afternoon. I haven't had guaranteed weekly alone time in 10 years. I am ready.

Other than reveling in the quiet of my home this month, we have some fun planned, too. Tonight we're going to see Clint Black in Hope. I love good country music and Something That We Do was the first song Jonathan and I danced to after our wedding. Next weekend we'll hit up the annual Watermelon Festival. Nothing makes me feel like a kid, as well as an official resident of South Arkansas, quite like this festival. My dollars are counted for crafts, corn dogs, and a hunk of melon. August will also bring a familiar sense of routine. While the return of normalcy does mean things like homework and soccer practice and youth group activities galore, there will {hopefully} be a rhythm to the madness not present during summer.

No matter what the busyness of the school year throws my way, though, I know I'll always have Fridays.
{insert sigh of utter bliss} Have a lovely weekend!

Dear July

July started with a bang around here, and we haven't even made our fireworks purchase yet.

Early yesterday we loaded a playlist with all the country songs that reference lakes, boats, and/or the sweetness of summer. We gathered as much sandwich fixings and snacks as our SUV allowed and headed for the Iron Mountain Marina at DeGray Lake. This was the first lake day for Owen and Nora and Nathan hadn't been in six years, so we didn't know what they'd do. However, as soon as these kids got their sea legs on our pontoon rental, they became card-carrying members of the redneck yacht club.

Not one of them thought twice as they wiggled into the water for a swim. They were jumping off the side in no time, and once they learned the official lake rule of "Never open your mouth underwater," they were hooked. We also decided to try some tubing this time, and would you believe all three did it? The boys took a tumble on their first ride, but were brave enough to keep going. I even took a turn on the tube with my three-year-old baby, whose tiny thumb stayed up the whole time to signal an a-okay ride.

From lounging in the shade, munching Doritos to ramping waves across the lake, my children were initiated as lake kids. Growing up I had several friends whose parents fit the "lake people" description and I had my fill of weekends on the water. I love that these kids got a taste of it this weekend.

As of today, the kids are convinced we need to go every weekend and I'm finding boat shopping searches in my browser history. We'll see just how far this rides out...

The day was perfect and such a lovely slice of summertime. Sure, getting the boat loaded with supplies and every kid took a little work, but lying on the deck of the boat and letting the sunshine carry me was 100% worth it. I really hope our start to July 2017 is a prime example of the rest of it. We have big plans this month: celebrating the birth of our nation, throwing two birthday parties, reaping the harvest of an incredible garden season, and enjoying plenty of pool days. All of these things take work, but all of these things will be worth it.

We'll end July smelling like chlorine, bug spray, and tomato plants and I, for one, am first in line.

Dear June

Ahh, June. The garden is growing, the temps are rising, and the kids are asking for lunch at 10:00.

This month is my favorite month, for reasons that include but are not limited to: my birthday. However, I already wrote a post on why I loved June enough to make it Nora's middle name. Today, I want to wish you and yours a happy month of sunshine and happiness and give you insight as to why I'm glad the 2017 edition is here. I even tossed in a thumbs-down just to make things interesting. Read on to see what this month holds for me, and let me know what you're planning with your own June bugs.

BEACH: The main reason a smile has been plastered on my face since I ripped off the May page and tossed it in the trash is the word "vacation" that's brightly highlighted. My family is headed to the Emerald Coast of Florida real soon and I am real overdue for a break. I've had a hectic few weeks ticking off my to-do list to wrap up the school year, and I think I have it covered. I'm ready for a week of no worries and the Moana soundtrack on loop.

BIRTHDAY: You may have remembered there's a special day coming up. Aren't you sweet?! I turn 33 on June 22 and I honestly don't mind at all. I don't know how we'll celebrate, but I'm not ready to stop counting candles yet. I have made the formal decision that living out these 30s is going to be fantastic. I know who I am, I know what I want, and I know my priorities. Being an adult isn't too awful, really.

BETROTHED: For the sake of alliteration, the first word I chose for this paragraph was bae. Aren't you glad I kept thinking? This Saturday will mark 11 years that Jonathan and I have been married. Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It's not for the weak, and it's not for the cowardly. Marriage takes strength, and that's what we have. That's the thing that makes me proudest about our love - its strength.

BONKERS: I can't tell you all the delightful activities my kids and I have lined up to fill our summer free time. I also can't tell you that in our first full day together I didn't scream "STOP SAYING 'BUTT' TO YOUR SISTER!" and "DON'T TATTLE WHILE I'M ON THE TOILET!" However, the kids and I have paid close attention to our garden {which is flourishing, by the way}, we've snagged pool time, and they've been big help with household chores. There will never be a picture-perfect summer schedule here, but I think I can tolerate them for a few months... What does your June look like?

Dear May

You can't tell by the swamp in the yard and the jackets near the door, but planting season is here!

You may get tired of me declaring each spring month my favorite {just kidding, I know you could never tire of me}, but May brings 31 stellar days. Whenever the garden returns from its pond-like state, we'll start getting things in the ground. There are only three weeks left of school, and my youth group calendar is dwindling. The freedom of summertime is knocking on my door, and while I have to pull on my rain boots to answer it, I'm ready.

Monday kicked off a few days solo while Jonathan was gone on business, and we all made it! We even went to Owen's ballgame, where he gave an outstanding first performance from the pitcher's mound. More on that later, though. Today I want to share a few of my hopes for May. I want to make it a great one.

1. Favorite Thing: Due to the current situation outside, I'll to refrain from saying "sunshine on my shoulders." Let's go with "scents of springtime." This delightfully stormy season has carried the bright smell of honeysuckle to every corner of our property. I love it.
   
   
2. Planning: Fifty points to whomever guessed my garden. This weekend the family has a date at the local nursery for tomatoes and peppers and herbs, oh my! Last year I think we planted 15 tomato plants. We can do better.
   
   
3. Eating: I want to step up my farmer's market shopping this year. All three markets in my area started their season last week, and I want to supplement what's not growing at my house with what's growing at someone else's. For early May, that means replacing all the strawberries my rude chickens have been stealing.
   
   
4. Drinking: Tequila. Every time I do this monthly questionnaire I answer this with alcohol. Still, my mother-in-law fancies herself a margarita expert, and she ain't wrong. She recently discovered Don Julio and May 5 seems like the perfect time to empty the bottle a little. ¡Olé!
   
   
5. Wearing: We've yet to require a steady summer wardrobe, so I'm going with makeup. I have been loving the new Rainforest of the Sea Color Splash Lipstick from Tarte. I just have the color Island Life right now, but I'd like to up my collection. Every shade gives off the perfect vacation vibe.
   
   
6. Listening to: Low-rumbling thunder, buzzing bees, wind chimes singing in the humid breeze, and the sound of my kids not playing in the house.
   
   
7. Enjoying: My husband! Although May's calendar is already crammed full, much of that time will be spent right beside Jonathan and I will enjoy every second. It's been a lonely four days, y'all.
   
   
8. Current Project: A fourth-grade volcano. It's due May 18 and Nathan has molten lava papier-mâché dreams. Thankfully his Dad returns home today and they can get cracking. If it were up to me, we'd go the cardboard, Mentos, and Diet Coke route... You can probably check back later this month for an update.
   
   
9. Hoping for: Dry weather. For the past two years I have planted my summer garden straight into mud. It's not looking good right now, but if I can get a week of sunny weather, that garden of mine just may dry out. Work with me here, Mother Nature!
   
   
10. Doing: Getting dirty. My fingernails will soon sport a springtime manicure, and the knees of my jeans will be brown. It's hard work, but it's my favorite kind of work. This year I intend to get a good dose of backyard therapy. Those sunflowers and cucumbers are pretty good listeners.
    
    

What are you looking forward to most this May? {... you know, once the sun returns.}

Dear April

The month of April is off to an exhilarating start around here.

My first order of business on a gorgeous Saturday morning was making Owen cry when I told him the muffins he wanted had strawberries {to which he is allergic}. After I quickly called April Fool's to the situation, it was on. I panicked when he told me two chickens were fighting and one was dead. I rolled my eyes when he said there was a coyote in the back yard, but still double checked. I fell for it when he told me there was something on my shirt.

Exhilarating, indeed.

Now that the first of April is another year away, we can focus on the remaining 29 days of beautiful springtime. April definitely ranks in my top five months, and a lot of that has to do with the sights and sounds and smells of spring. We'll go shopping for tomatoes and peppers later this month and start sketching where to plant the bounty of seeds burning a hole on my dresser. I think winter is finally over {knock on wood}, so I can't wait to see what lies ahead. Here are a few specific things I'm hoping April brings...

The Walk: This Saturday, April 8, is the annual Walk to Defeat ALS in Little Rock. The bunch and I will don our bright blue shirts and take a mile to make a difference in memory of Poppy. Want to walk with us? Want to virtually join our team? Want to donate to fund research that may finally cure this horrible disease? You can do all those things by clicking here.

Earth Day: Earth Day used to be my official garden planting date, but past experience has bumped that exciting day to early May. I now see April 22 as a reminder to run my hands through the grass, dig my fingertips into the dirt, and literally stop to smell the flowers. It's also a great time to start preparing a new kitchen garden. I wrote a how-to post last year. Click here to get growing!

Date Night: I have my fingers crossed big time for this one. While our schedules have been packed lately, my husband assures me we'll make time to be alone at some point this month. The above mentioned April Fool's Day scenario should indicate this bullet point's necessity.

Fresh Air: It's time to play outside! It's time to jump on the trampoline until the mosquitoes start buzzing and make use of the piles of bubbles and chalk that wait in the carport. Let's get dirty, sweaty, and leave rings in the bathtub. Let your lungs get a big dose of spring air this month.

Fresh Eggs: And let your bodies get a big dose of fresh eggs while you're at it. The girls have been cranking 'em out in recent weeks and we're averaging more than a dozen every two days. This trend should continue until the scorching summer temps arrive, so if you need any eggs between now and then, I'm your girl.

What are wildest hopes and dreams for April 2017?

Dear March

New month, new me?

Maybe I don't have the bar set that high for March, but the calendar flipped just in time for Ash Wednesday and for me, that brings a sense of rejuvenation. While I don't have my Lenten plans exactly lined out just yet, I always look forward to the renewal of faith that comes with it.

I love that Lent goes beyond giving up Cokes, Facebook, and other things we're better off without. There's also a heavy focus on doing more. I want to pray more and give more. I want to remember to help those who need it most, especially when it doesn't affect me personally. I want to focus on the steps Jesus took during His final 40 days as one of us.

March is a month that sees renewal all over. Green stalks break through the dormant ground, seeds are plunked into soil with the hope of fresh life bursting within them, calves {and baby giraffes... eventually} are born to mothers waiting in the fields. It's a beautiful thing, y'all. Lent is not just a countdown to Easter, just as March is more than a countdown to spring. We have to spend these 40 days {or 20 days} preparing for the joy that comes in the morning. Just as the bitter winter is necessary to bring the vibrant spring, the cross was a step toward new life. We mourn the dark times, but we celebrate their meaning.

Even though I'm looking at March as an opportunity to make all things new, there are plenty of other things I'm looking forward to this month, as well. My middle child will turn six years old {yes, Owen will soon utilize two hands} a week from Friday. We're in party planning mode and hopefully we'll get a whole gang of his buddies to show up at the soccer fields and kick the ball around with him in honor of his big day.

One of my favorite youth ministry events is sneaking up on us, as well. Throughout the season of Lent, Catholics remind themselves of Christ's final days with the Stations of the Cross. Our group gets one Friday a year to present these stations to the parish, and they have a wonderful script that relates Christ's struggles to our own. While it's the same words every year, they still hit me the same each time.

I do solemnly swear to wait patiently this season, but I am ready for spring. I am ready to smell sweet honeysuckle, take my kids seed shopping, and watch as Arkansas brown fades away and a brilliant green takes its place.

The buds are forming on the trees and everything is place for the grand rebirth we await in March. I am ready.

Happy March, friends. What are you looking forward to this month?

Dear February

It's that time of year again... love is in the air and chocolate turtles are taunting me.

Happy February! We made it through the coldest, darkest month of the year and we're on the other side. Even though the dang groundhog saw his shadow this morning, I have high hopes for this sweet little month. There are plans all over my calendar and a heavy focus on loving others. Judging from my news feed, I think this notion is arriving at the perfect time.

This month I want to embrace love and everything that word means. At our youth group gathering last night, we talked about the way God's love for us is so unconditional. It's a love that knows no limits. No matter your background, your choices, your beliefs, your skin color, whatever: God loves you. I know that's a lofty goal for a mere mortal to shoot for, but I want to love like that. I want to take the love He gives me and spread it as wide as possible. With love on the brain, why don't I share a peek into why I'm so excited about February 2017? Here's what's going on:

Valentine's Day! I don't have any details, but I hear my husband has a sweet surprise date planned, and that has me over the moon. I'm looking forward to some time to ourselves, which is rare and always appreciated. I love my husband a lot and spending time with him is my favorite. Expect more mush.

Galentine's Day! My friends and I haven't tacked this name onto our upcoming girls' night, but I'm making it official here and now. Two of my favorite friends and I are taking on Hot Springs again this year for a kid-free, husband-free time of togetherness. We will eat a lot, we will drink a lot, and we'll probably never stop talking. I am pumped.

Garden Work! This isn't an event on my schedule, but my garden tools are sitting on go. As usual, the end of January came with unseasonable sunshine and warmer temps, and it ignited my spring fever. There's still much patience to practice when it comes to planting, but this month we'll start turning over dirt and making plans. I'm already dreaming about tomatoes. Really.

I am delighted about what February holds for me and my family, what about you? Do you have great big sappy plans this month or are you {also} waiting to take advantage of the mid-month candy markdowns? Let's chat in the comments.
I hope y'all have a terrific Thursday.

Dear 2017

We made it, y'all.

I think I read the phrase "dumpster fire" in reference to the year 2016 more than I have in my entire life. Nevertheless, we made it to the other side, with a new opportunity to focus on the forward. I love the feeling of wiping the slate clean {sans fire}, and today feels like a breath of fresh air. Breathe it in, y'all, we're starting over.

In the past I've made all sorts of promises about who I want to be in the months that follow the changing of calendars. Sometimes I keep them and smash the heck out of them, but often they leave my brain as soon as they leave my fingers. This year I'm shaking it up. This year I just want to keep going.

I want to keep going to the gym to strengthen my body and mind. I want to keep improving my marriage and loving Jonathan more every day. I want to keep raising my children and learning to be a better parent. I want to keep in touch with my people and make an effort to spend time with them. I want to keep taking care of myself and discovering who I am. I want to keep writing. I want to keep planting. I want to keep growing. I want to keep going.

This idea is more than a scribbled-down list to bury in the junk drawer. This is a promise to put one foot in front of the other and take things as they come. For me, 2017 is going to be a year about slashing expectations and living in the moment. Life will never look like I expect it to, but if I open my eyes to what's actually around me, sometimes it's surprisingly better.

Although there are zero bullet points on this New Year, New Me post, I do want to keep my tradition of a one-word focus for 2017. I refuse to commit to write a series on this {because let's be honest, I never do it}, but this word usually stays with me. This year's word should result from the go-with-the-flow attitude I desire. My One Little Word is...

Often the anxiety I carry manifests itself in the form of worrying how life will fit into a certain box. That constant worry can feel like literal weight on my shoulders. Focusing on what could go wrong tomorrow bogs me down today. This year I want to let go. I want to breathe in, breathe out, and let life happen. I will lighten my load in more ways than one and hopefully I can find a way to float through this year.

I have no clue what's to come in the days that follow, and that's okay. This year, I am ready to live. Let's go!

Dear December

Thursday morning we woke to find everything in our yard covered in frosty sparkles.

We had to convince Nora it wasn't snow, but all three kids were happy to see this chilly start to December. I could go on about how 2016 was a blink {which is accurate}, but this Scrooge is turning over a new leaf. Most of my recent posts are holiday related, and today is no different. I would apologize, but that wouldn't be in line with my merry demeanor. December is here, it's already too cold, but Christmas is just around the bend.

That's why today I want to share my #XmasGoals with you. Below are a few things I'm looking forward to/already enjoying this month, along with the traditions I'm ready to relive. Dig in, y'all!

• Yesterday marked the start of December. It also marked my first holiday Amazon order, which included gifts for my kids and... other family members {no secret Santa snitches here}. I don't know that I have ever started Christmas shopping this early. This elf is on a roll, friends.
  
  
• Bring on the Bauer Bunch traditions! From the themed pancakes on Christmas morning to driving in search of the best lights in our pajamas, I love creating these memories for our kids. I'll always enjoy reminiscing on the traditions my parents gave me, but forming them as a parent myself takes it up a notch.
  
  
• Let's back up the Christmas train a little and talk Advent. The feeling of preparing our hearts and waiting patiently for the coming of Jesus Christ really makes me slow down and refocus. Every year our youth group hosts Mass on the third Sunday, and we celebrate the joy that Mary's yes brought to the universe. In my very biased opinion - it's awesome.
  
  
• Looking at my planner between today and December 25, there's not much white space. While a lot of those days are filled with scrambling to finish the semester, most squares are marked for togetherness. Tonight I'm celebrating the holidays with two friends at dinner. In a few weeks we'll head to the company Christmas party, and Owen and Nathan have class parties not long after that. We'll also fit birthday celebrations for both my brother and my husband in there. We'll be busy, but it's the good kind.
  
  
• Santa Claus is coming to town... tomorrow. None of my children have properly met Santa Claus. Tiny Nathan sat on his lap in Conway once, but that's it. However, that will change in the morning when we join the bearded man in red for pancakes. I'm very eager to see what happens. Stay tuned.
  
  
• Finally, my biggest Christmas goal of 2016 is soaking up as much love as I possibly can. Together with my family I want to share the hope, peace, joy, and love that Jesus brought to a cold, unforgiving world the night He was born. This year I want to remember to love others as hard as Jesus loves me, and to focus on what Christmas truly means. What's your biggest goal this season?

Dear November

It is 85 degrees in November, Garth Brooks is Entertainer of the Year, and the Cubs just won the freaking World Series.

I don't know what's happening, Universe, but I love it. If you were anywhere close to a television or the United States of America last night, you know that history was made just before the stroke of midnight. If you've known me in the last decade, you'll also know I didn't get much sleep. The Chicago Cubbies broke their century-long losing streak and likely caused thousands of grown men to cry. The worst part is that Jonathan has been in New Orleans on business, so I had to squeal to him via texted exclamation points. It wasn't the same, but it got the point across. We can pop the champagne when he gets home tonight. {I do have goggles if necessary.}

As I continue to try to lower my blood pressure, I thought I'd share a little insight into what has started as one amazing month. If the first three days of November can be this amazing, I am eager to see what the rest of them hold. Here are a few things I'm excited about...

This month my husband and I start yet another role at our church. Sunday will be our first lesson to teach as high school catechists, and I am pumped. We already know and love the kids in the class because of our youth group involvement, and they are fantastic. Lesson plans and notebooks and fresh pencils, oh my! I know there's a learning curve ahead of us, but I can't wait to jump into the material and see what we can figure out together.

Although I'm a big fan of the birth of our Lord/His resurrection, Thanksgiving might be my favorite holiday. I don't want to limit thankfulness to one block on the calendar, but the atmosphere on Turkey Day is hard to beat. Gathering with family and friends, despite differences, with the purpose of simply appreciating being together is huge. There is much to be thankful for, and this November I want to find thanks in everything.

Soccer season is just about over and before we know it Nathan and Owen will hang up their backpacks for a whole week. November means a decline in activities and a break from school. And that means more people in my crowded house. However, I want to actually use that. I want to spend more time with my kids this month, and I want them to spend more time with each other. I am claiming November as the month of togetherness... whether they like it or not.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to rummage through the $5.00 movie bin...

Dear October

You might not believe me if you walk outside this afternoon, but October has arrived.

We are six days in, and while a high of 90 degrees doesn't scream fall to me, I have been obsessed with the slow signs of a new season. Today I'm sharing snapshot for the month. Following are a few October-focused questions I answered with the first thing that came to mind. Read on with that warning.

1. Favorite Thing: October is a month that smells like fresh air, decaying leaves, and fire. These scents are good for the soul, I tell you.
   
   
2. Planning: I am excited about two photography sessions coming up later in the month. We'll have our annual family session to grace this year's Christmas cards {and this blog, obviously}. In addition to that, we are doing a photo shoot with the extended family on Jonathan's side. I am pumped to capture these memories and spend time with some of my favorite people.
   
   
3. Eating: Too. Much. Fun Size. My office is stocked for Halloween with tiny Snickers, itty bitty bags of M&Ms, and one-piece Kit Kats. They're cute, but they're dangerous.
   
   
4. Drinking: Wine. This one and this one are my favorites lately, and they pair perfectly with a breezy October night.
   
   
5. Wearing: All of the button-up shirts, please. Fall is the season of plaid and boots. You can keep your pumpkin spice stuff, but let me have the basic-girl wardrobe.
   
   
6. Listening to: Crickets. One of my favorite autumn sounds are the bugs that play lullabies during our evenings outside. I'm sure they're singing tunes all summer long, but at that time I am inside. In the air conditioning.
   
   
7. Enjoying: My chickens. You laughed, didn't you? That's okay, I laughed when it was the first thing that popped into my head. Gardening season is over and the girls can once again free range. Any pecking, scratching, and eating they do in the garden now is helpful. Plus, it's fun to watch them interact and explore. I promise...
   
   
8. Current Project: Every year I vow that my kids will narrow down their Halloween costumes and I will buy them before September ends. And every year I can be found paying ridiculous shipping fees to get them in time. Today is October 6, and we have nothing. It's officially time to get Nora's "great big pumpkin" outfit ordered.
   
   
9. Hoping for: Peace. The start of the school year blows in with a rush of things to do. I love the new routine, but lately things have been too hurried and hectic. I hope the change of season gives me a time to unwind, relax, and remember that who I am means more than what I do.
   
   
10. Doing: October starts our hot tub season. Jonathan and I dedicated much of our evening time to that last weekend {don't tell the kids}. The cool, clear nights painted a mesmerizing celestial view and we lost count of shooting stars. That feeling of being so tiny in the universe while cooking in an outdoor tub hits the spot. Welcome, October.
    
    

What's your favorite thing about October?
Share in the comments and have yourself a lovely Thursday.

Dear September

Backpacks and footballs and heat, oh my! It's September, friends.

It's that lovely time of year when fall fanatics turn their calendars, grab their scarves and pumpkin spice lattes, and head out in 100-degree weather. I am in no rush for pumpkin time, but I do like the fact that September should leave cooler than it came. School routines are firmly in place and the idea of spending time beneath Friday Night Lights does sound enticing. September always has its highs and lows and this particular one is no different.

YAY: We're only wrapping up Week Three, but this school year has been wonderful. Nathan says fourth grade is the best yet, and he lives for art class and GT. He's already gotten to play a round of dodge ball with his principals. What's not to love? As for kindergarten, Owen is obsessed. He says his favorite class is "instruments" and he loves writing numbers. He hates the weekend because there is no school, and he does not want to discuss Labor Day.

BOO: Owen was absent last Tuesday. As you can imagine he was displeased. We were further displeased when our ENT said he needed his tonsils and adenoids removed. Obviously, I'm terrified about this. His poor breathing has resulted in sleepless nights for years, though, so I know this will be a good thing. I'm worried about his week-long recovery later this month. He's devastated about missing an entire week of school.

YAY: Tonight marks the return of school colors, band shows, and extra-large nachos. The Bauer Boys woke up this morning psyched for the first pep rally of the season {Owen, mostly excited about the first bus ride of his life}. Football is king in southwest Arkansas, and in my sleepy little town in particular. Tonight our team plays my hometown team, so we have a house divided. 

BOO: My garden is done. Finished. Kaput. Other than the okra, everything is dead {or ruined by bugs, weeds, and general disinterest}. The lush landscape I blogged about in July has met its demise. It's always sad to see a see a season close, but now I must decide whether we stare at a blank patch until spring or commit to fall crops. I'll just keep picking okra and see if inspiration hits this month.

YAY: CYM starts back next week! Jonathan and I lead the youth group at our church, and it kicks off next Wednesday. I have spent hours researching hilarious games, team-building ideas, and inventive ways to encourage prayer. I love setting up our meeting room, then opening the door to eager teenagers. Watching these kids grow in faith pushes me in mine, and I can't wait to get going.

There's a snapshot of our month. There's good, there's bad, and there's a week of Owen eating ice cream on the couch. I'm prepared, though. Bring it on, September.

Dear August

Today starts the end of summer, and we are holding on as tight as we can.

Happy August, y'all! Summer 2016 has been packed full of adventure and sweaty, sweaty children. While I do like the idea of routine returning to the Bauer house, there are exactly two weeks of summer break left. By golly, we're going to use them. Read on to see what we'll be up to as the summer fades into backpacks and alarm clocks. What are you most looking forward to this month?

1. Favorite Thing: My favorite thing about August is the peak of summer. It's all downhill from here, so we have to make it count... in Gulf Shores. We will be beach-bound soon, and this time we're bringing the kids. Stay tuned!
   
   
2. Loving: Rain in the forecast. Last week brought the first all-day rain I had seen this summer, and my garden rejoiced. Funny how August arrived under 100 degrees. It's a bit backward, but I won't question it.
   
   
3. Eating: All I can think about this week is shrimp. Fried shrimp, boiled shrimp, shrimp kebabs, shrimp gumbo. All of the shrimp Alabama can provide. I'd wager you'll have good odds if you bet on seeing shellfish on my Instagram this week. Don't say I didn't warn you.
   
   
4. Hoping: I'm hoping my chickens will be fine while we're away. Unfortunately, we lost sweet Nugget a few weeks ago, likely due to the insane heat. The new girls are starting to lay, and we've rigged up an intricate fan system to keep them all cool in the coop.
   
   
5. Dreading: I'm excited about new starts for my boys. Owen will begin kindergarten and Nathan moves to the elementary school for fourth-grade. However, the one back-to-school requirement I'm dreading is the morning rush. The idea of forcing them to rise before 7:00 haunts me. We'll make it happen. Somehow.
   
   
6. Wearing: If I can't gush about my new chicken boots to you, what kind of friends are we? I believe they suit me, and the chicken poop that's bound to cover them should blend right in.
   
   
7. Watching: We have been flipping to HGTV any time we see "tiny house" in the title. Mostly we giggle at the buyers who ask for more dining space or a bigger tub, but we also discuss whether we could do it. The first order of business would be selling the kids.
   
   
8. Hearing: There have been many summer work commutes that feature me and all three kids. They haven't been pleasant. Nora and Owen now reach one another. I think that should fill in the "hearing" blank.
   
   
9. Preparing: My heart to send my baby to kindergarten. As I mentioned a few bullets up, I'm excited to see what the future holds, but I know the emotions involved. Owen already knows his teacher's name and is aware of a guinea pig class pet. He's more ready than I am.
   
   
10. Doing: It may not be a job that earns real dollars, but this time of year I get wound up in youth ministry. I have been trying to force all the puzzle pieces into the calendar, and searching my brain {and the Internet} for fun kick-off ideas. Say a prayer for us as we get going?

Dear July

'Tis the season of brilliant fireworks, homegrown tomatoes, and super sweaty kids.

It's July in Arkansas, and although that means triple digit temps on the regular, it's one tasty time of year. Plants in my backyard are full of fruit waiting on the perfect time to ripen and I'm getting ready to jump into process-and-preserve mode. The mess has been cleared from my kitchen windowsill to make room for tomatoes and the harvest basket is sitting by the door.

July brings summer sunsets that fade into warm air and lightning bugs, a breeze that carries the scent of neighborhood vegetable patches, and the relief that comes with that first jump in the pool. Today I'm welcoming the new month in list form. Join me, won't you? What are you looking forward to this month?

1. Favorite Thing: July may bring oppressive heat that will cause me to complain several posts in a row {sorry}, but I honestly live for this weather. Give me a 103-degree day over anything that dips below 50. Seriously.
   
   
2. Planning: I am working on a plan to have 11 laying hens. The seven newbies should kick into gear this month and I'll be getting close to a dozen eggs a day. I'm thinking of looking into local farmer's markets or advertising on social media or simply ensuring my friends and family stay stocked in incredible edibles.
   
   
3. Eating: Fresher than ever. The hot air has me craving crisp and light and healthy and I should have backyard access to such meals soon. Most specifically I am looking forward to sliced tomatoes with salt, fresh beans sauteed with garlic and onions, and so much watermelon.
   
   
4. Drinking: I'd be lying if wine wasn't the central answer, but there's something about a mason jar filled to the brim with ice-cold tea and lemon slices sweating right beside me. Cucumber water is a favorite, too.
   
   
5. Wearing: Not much {insert laugh here, but I'm also kind of serious}. Shorts, sundresses, flip flops, and tank tops. Sun's out, guns out, after all.
   
   
6. Listening to: Snoring. Two-thirds of my children are excellent at summertime sleeping in. At least Owen will grant my "five more minutes" request a few times.
   
   
7. Enjoying: Those crazy kids of mine. Sure, the summer whines plague us all, but July gives me time to enjoy them without hassling them about the clock. We don't have many plans this month, so I want to just play outside, eat Popsicles, and watch movies.
   
   
8. Current Project: This first day of July is being spent like any other - scrambling to get ready for Nora and Nathan's birthdays. I can't believe my oldest will be nine and my youngest will be three in a matter of days. {I'll save the dramatics, though, as this means we are nearing a diaper-free life}.
   
   
9. Hoping for: A bountiful harvest, of course. Things are looking much better in the garden this year in comparison to recent years {please don't let this be a jinx}.
   
   
10. Doing: Nothing. My favorite July activity is nothing. Maybe I'll do nothing on the swing in the yard. Perhaps I'll do nothing in the air-conditioned haven of my living room. I could even do nothing poolside. Wherever I am, I hope to snag the opportunity to stop this month. We all need to every once in a while, right?
    
    

Dear June

You know June is my favorite month of all the months the Romans squeezed into a calendar.

You know it's my birth month, the month my favorite hydrangeas spring to life, and the month when the world slows down enough to notice and the air warms enough to touch. I've shared metaphor after metaphor about the vibrant colors that come with the start of summer and drawing inspiration from God's brightest paint strokes. Heck, you know I love June so much I gave it to my daughter as a middle name.

Today, though, is no day for poetry. There is precisely one bullet point in my What I Love About June 2016 essay. This weekend I will kiss my kids goodbye while attempting to contain my giddiness. I will get into the car beside my dear husband, point it toward Florida, and not even think about looking back.

Sure, I still want to dance on the summer breeze and all that junk, but it's beach time. It is kid-free beach time. This month will be the best month of the whole year, and that's why. Jonathan and I booked this trip in February and I can't believe takeoff is in a matter of days. Six nights and seven days with no children, no responsibilities, and no sense of time. Adventure awaits! {And also naps. So. Many. Naps. -- insert a big thank you to the grandparents here.}

You may be thinking to yourself, "Jessica! How on Earth can you leave your children behind to splash in salt water and throw back bottomless fruity beach drinks?! Won't you miss them? Aren't they jealous? Won't you worry?" As luck would have it, I currently hear the word "mama" being thrown my direction in the most agonizing fashion followed by two of the worst words known to man: "Chocolate Miiiiilk!" Any more questions? I feel zero guilt for this much-needed and dare I say deserved vacation, and I promise no one can make me.

We're taking this trip to celebrate ten years of wedded bliss. We need this. I need this. I need to save whatever sanity I have left, I need to feel like more than someone's mom, and I need to give all my attention to my favorite family member {don't tell the children}. There's no one else I'd rather have balance me at home, and there's no one else I'd rather have drive my getaway car. June 10 marks our anniversary and we wanted to spend it our favorite way - alone.

That concludes the one-item list of things I'm most looking forward to this June. Do you have any fun trips on your calendar this summer? Jump in the comments and remind me of the joys of June I'm drowning out due to trip excitement.