Beach Week

I still feel like I could jinx this trip by talking about it, but here we go.

We returned home from vacation late Sunday with beach hair and tired, happy campers. Every one of my children enjoyed being both in and beside the ocean this year, and they traveled like angels. While typing that sentence, I felt I should duck lightning strikes, but every word is truth.

This was our best family vacation to date, hands down. There were no diapers nor strollers {!!!}, no epic sibling battles and no major meltdowns. Owen did leave a front tooth with the beach tooth fairy, and Nora did fall out of her bed, bringing home an impressive forehead knot, but these kids had a blast. Owen ate calamari and shrimp for the first time, and Nathan was brave enough to carry live fish with his bare hands.

Who are these kids?

We stayed at the Sandestin Resort in Destin, Florida, which is basically my favorite place. This trip included our bunch, my parents, and Jonathan's mom. We spent most mornings beach-side, and I actually got to relax in my chair and suck down my strawberry daiquiri while the kids played in the sand. Seriously.

Last year Nora would not put one toe in the water at Gulf Shores, and she hated the sand. She was an absolute different kid this year. She let the waves carry her ring any way they wanted while belting every line from "How Far I'll Go."

I think Owen spent more time underwater than above, diving under every wave and exploring with his goggles. Nathan followed suit, and together they chased the swimming fish and tried to collect the most intact shells. These kids were total beach bums, and I am so pleased that more time was spent in the ocean than in the hotel pool.

While we went to our regular restaurant haunts {plus one for anniversary date night}, a new place we explored in the Fort Walton area was the Gulfarium. We woke up to rain on our first morning, so we decided to see some animals up close and personal. The kids had their first touch pool experience and never wanted to leave. {Hands! HANDS!} We also saw an enormous turtle, a pool of stingrays, and we found both Nemo and Dory fairly quickly. We returned to the condo with a sea of stuffed animals and a newfound dolphin obsession.

I loved this vacation because we were finally able to simply enjoy each other. Of course there was whining and bickering and drawn-out groans, but the kids are getting older and things are getting easier. We can relax a little more and stress a little less. Hats off to my kids for making this trip great, and a big thanks to our parents for helping keep up with them. I'll stop talking now and share a few more highlights:

Now it's back to reality and back to dreaming of surf, sand, and crab legs. Happy Hump Day!

Have you been to the beach this year? Do you have a trip scheduled?
Let me know where you are taking your family in the comments!

Picture-Perfect Vacation

A picture's worth a thousand words, right?

If you kept an eye on my Instagram this weekend, you witnessed copious amounts of beachfront posts. The wispy clouds framed Owen standing patiently by the shore. You saw Nora, pink sunglasses in place, at bliss inches from the gorgeous sand. There were no signs of jellyfish sting remedy vigorously rubbed on thighs nor a single midnight meltdown. Pictures paint a thousand words, and while I have plenty of beautiful Gulf Shores photos to share... I'm here to trade out some of those words.

Last weekend the Bauer Bunch {plus two grandparents} braved the eight-hour trek to southern Alabama to dip our toes before school starts. Once the kids were properly separated and Nora was handed a Capri Sun in the fashion she requested, it wasn't too bad of a drive.

We stayed in a condo right on the beach, which helped in the act of transporting two boogie boards, two beach mats, 47 towels, a bag of snacks and drinks, a bag of sand toys, first aid, sunscreen, flip flops, and three kids. It was especially nice the morning we made the return trip a mere 15 minutes after arrival. This was not the case on the first day, however. The Bauer Boys sprinted into the water, collecting dozens of shells and chasing seagulls. There was even a shallow river that somehow formed between the shore and our chairs. Naturally, Owen used it to master surfing.

This was the day Nora June decided to tolerate the beach. She even let her Daddy bury her wiggly toes. For the remainder of our stay, however, she denounced all surf and sand. She spent hours splashing in the condo pool. And if this was what it took to make her happy, I was splashing right beside her. {insert completely authentic grin}

Adventures that did not involve swim diapers included a dolphin cruise and exploration of local cuisine. The latter included a collection of mama-sized margaritas, obviously. The final night we ducked into Bahama Bob's, a small joint just a block or two from our condo. It ended up being the best! We chowed down on fried alligator, delicious scallops, and you know I had a round of crab legs.

The afternoons in the condo were incredible. Most members of our party were either snoozing or electronically occupied, and it was quiet. It was insanely quiet. I watched the waves lap onto the sand over and over, and I tried to let loose of the late-summer-the-kids-are-driving-me-insane tension. Unfortunately, it returned at bedtime in an unfamiliar location, but we managed.

We got home late Monday night, satisfied that we were no longer trapped like road trip rats and thankful for clean bathrooms. Family vacations aren't always just what you see in the wide-grinned photos. We had a lot of fun, we had a lot of stress, and I'm thankful for the memories made {props to my parents for putting up with us}.

The ocean air was nice for a weekend, but I am happy to be home and ready for new routines. Now I will flip through these wonderful images as I count down the seconds until school starts.

Happy Hump Day, y'all!

Escape to Paradise

My husband and I sat on the beach, watching parent after parent follow their child into the salty sea and out again like clockwork.

I took a long sip of my frozen strawberry daiquiri, hand-crafted by a bikini-clad bartender, and dug my toes into the sand a little deeper. My ears caught the sound every time a child called for his mom to "Come look at this fish! Bring me that shovel! Give me those Cheetos!" Then I settled back into my beach chair and picked up my book when I realized no, I am not Mom this week.
Suckers.

If you follow me on any social media, you know I was in Florida last week {I would apologize for over-gramming, but I believe vacation is the one exception to the rule}. Jonathan and I spent five wonderful days at Sandestin Resort and we packed zero swim diapers. We left our kids in the dust so we could celebrate ten years of wedded bliss. The ocean scent is still on my flip flops, so I thought I'd relive my memories via keyboard while they're still fresh.

The weather on this trip was insane. We arrived Sunday night, just before Tropical Storm Colin. Day One was full of rainy day shopping with the rest of the panhandle vacationers, but on Day Two the rain moved out and the red flags flew. The tide might have beat us up a little, but we weren't missing the action:

The red warning flags stuck around through Wednesday, but Thursday the clouds parted and the gods of the sea looked upon us. The yellow flags urged caution, but the crystal clear glassy waves invited us in. This was the prettiest water I have ever seen lap onto the shores of the Gulf Coast. Jonathan and I spent our remaining mornings and afternoons simply floating. No rings or goggles or hands to hold. It was just us and the ocean. A little slice of blue-green heaven.

Obviously, we also ate food. We ate really, really good food. I won't give you a play-by-play, but let's just say I left no crab leg uneaten. We did take our anniversary night up a notch by having our first experience at Ruth's Chris. This place offered no Florida-themed drinks with 12 kinds of rum, but there were forks aplenty and a wooden box held by a waiter named Jameson who asked us to choose the steak knife to our liking. It was fancy, y'all. Jameson even wished us a happy anniversary via dessert after we drank things called side cars and mojitos:

Escaping to paradise was the perfect way to celebrate ten years of building a life together, but once we crossed Arkansas borders and Nana's driveway, the bouncing hugs that greeted us weren't exactly terrible. After hearing words like Minecraft and blankie and Dad! for the first time in days, reality sunk in. Surprisingly, it wasn't half bad. Escaping is one thing, but coming home can be just as good.

On that note... when can we go again?!

Happy Monday, y'all. May your waves be salty, your drinks be strong, and your lives be good.

Girls Weekend: No Kids Allowed

There are moments in parenthood when must reach your arm up through piles of Pop Tart crumbs and empty Carpi Suns and wave the white flag.

I reach this boiling point often, but I recently fixed it by recharging in one of the best ways I know how: by leaving. It wasn't nearly as dramatic as throwing clean undies in the car and driving into the sunset, but the matter was just as pressing. Two of my bloggers-turned-buddies and I had been talking about trading the mom life for a girls' weekend, and we knew it wouldn't happen until we tacked it onto the calendar. So we tacked it. We found a little lakeside cabin in Hot Springs and put our names down for the last weekend in February.

Then we watched the minutes drag slower with each passing day.

Fast-forward through a grueling number of weeks and I jumped for joy when Karen and Alicia pulled into my driveway. Armed with zero diapers, zero blankies, and maybe a brown bag special, we lit up the highway. The weekend was spent laughing into all hours of the night, wasting the days with no responsibilities, and enjoying long dinners with cocktails and no highchairs. It was bliss. Here's what we did by way of bullet points:

• We went to Fat Bottomed Girls for cupcakes. We drove them up into the mountains, sat down at a picnic table with our solo community fork, and went to heaven. Best cupcakes I've ever tasted. Allow me to recommend the Creme Brulee.
  
  
• We sat in the lobby of the Backporch Grill for an hour and I believe the entertainment provided as people poured in from the horse races was as good as the dinner {and the dinner was incredible}. Did I mention we sat down to dinner at 9:00? Who do we think we are?
  
  
• We tried not to fall off the top of the Hot Springs Mountain Tower. It was a success!
  
  
• We sat on the couch in our rental and talked about all we needed to accomplish that day... and then we stayed in our pajamas for two more hours. And it DID NOT EVEN MATTER.
  
  
• We barely turned on the television, but I don't think it was ever silent in that cabin. We had been collecting various in-person stories for months and we spilled. No censorship required.
  
  
• We had time to not only browse the Wal-Mart beauty aisle, we actually purchased face masks and sat around wearing them like nobody's business.
  
  
• We took to downtown Hot Springs on the first gorgeous day of 2016 with no agenda. We walked up the street making note of where we wanted to shop and took our time browsing on the way back down. We even decided we were hungry with no consideration for anyone but ourselves and ducked into a diner for some delicious late afternoon sandwiches.
  
  
• We spent a fair amount of time in a soap store, standing around smelling soap. No one pulled on our shirts. No one spilled the giant tubs of bath salt. No one ate anything.

I'll sum it up with a simple question: When can we go back? Thank you, Alicia and Karen, for the friendship you've given me beyond blogging. I feel lucky to have met you both, and I'm ready for our next adventure. Thank you, Hot Springs, for the beautiful weekend and relaxing accommodations. Thank you, Jonathan, for making it a whole 48 hours without me. And finally, thank you, dear children, for driving me crazy enough to be in desperate need of such a fun weekend.

How do you do girls' weekend? Share in the comments as I vaccuum up Cheeto dust and petrified French fries.
Yes, it's back to business as usual.

Family Vacation

{This poor, neglected blog needs fresh air, doesn't it? May was full of busyness that pulled me away from the screen, but there's nothing like a little saltwater to revive it.}

There was quite a bit more on this year's beach trip, friends.

There were more 6:30 AM wake-up calls, more requests for chocolate milk, more fights in the condo, more dirty diapers, and a lot more to carry down the boardwalk. Coincidentally, there was more laughter, more sand castles, more squealing every time a wave surprised us, and more joy in {almost} every moment. If you can gather from this that we took the kids to the beach this year as opposed to our solo vacay last year, then you get a prize!

Last week we took the bunch {plus my parents} to the Emerald Coast of Florida and though I was nervous about herding three kids around a hot, sandy beach, I can say now that it was wonderful. The kids hadn't been since Nathan was 4 and Owen was 1, so it was a new experience.

For weeks before, Owen told everyone who would listen that he wouldn't put his big toe into the ocean. There are fish in there! However, his mind quickly changed when he looked to the endless sea. I'll be darned if he didn't fling himself into it. He spent half his time begging someone to hold his hand and the other half jumping waves, getting knocked down, and coming up sputtering and laughing. Nathan, ever the beach bum, was enthralled by it - studying the shoreline and keeping an eye out for dolphins. The main difference this year was that he didn't need us to hold his hand.

{As you can see above, Owen Bauer still needed this service}
And Nora, well, Nora was content to sit beneath the umbrella, on the mat, sunglasses firmly in place, snack in hand. As long as you didn't disrupt this flow, she was happy. If you made any mention of bringing her close to the water or moving her hands into the sand, she was done:

The weather in Florida was gorgeous {my apologies to all we left in the wetlands of Arkansas}. It rained one night, but each morning was soaked in sunshine. The water was rough the first couple of days, but we finally saw yellow flags on our last venture out. We ran, we splashed, and we learned a few family-vacation-related lessons:

• Beach wagons do not roll on the sand as described on the package.
• Forty-pound babies with sandy diapers make for better workouts than Crossfit.
• It's not all that bad to be seated in the "families with annoying kids" section. Especially if you eat dinner promptly at 4:00 PM each night. No wait, no worries, so many crab legs.
• The wait for the beach bros to set up chairs is a more excruciating experience with three pairs of eagle eyes.
• Kids are great at shell spotting, crab catching, and not whining about the saltwater taste.
• The only thing better than experiencing the magic of where ocean meets land and water fades into sky is seeing it in your kids.

Sure, there were less fruity cocktails, less afternoon naps, and zero books read beneath the sun, but I brought home much more than darker skin and sandy floorboards. Until next time, Florida! Thanks for the memories.

Paradise Rented

{Nathan walked by while I was making this photo and called me rude. Still worth it.}
For six days and five nights, my name was Jessica.

The only time I heard the word "mama" was when it was shouted toward the dozens of women on the beach, dragging overflowing toy bags, removing sand from mouths, and chasing small people into the ocean. It was a good week, my friends.



Unfortunately you can only rent a slot of paradise for so long, so our parents-only trip to Destin, Florida has come and gone. All that's left are some pretty fantastic memories. I spent mornings on the beach and evenings cracking crab legs. I read two books beneath a wide umbrella {Eleanor and Park and Divergent}, I kept my cooler filled, and I napped in a room with an ocean view. This old couple took the week nice and easy, so instead of boring you with a play-by-play, I thought I'd drop by with a few pictures and a list of the things I learned on holiday:

You can take a ten-hour drive that crosses four states and only take two potty breaks.

Many parents felt the need to be overly apologetic if we got whacked by an errant pool noodle, or a stray kid cut in front of us. Needless to say, we gave lots of reassurance and felt weird on the other side.

I missed my kids more than I thought I did when I saw little pink swimsuits waddling around or boys dragging boogie boards and searching for sea shells. Then one by one, the children around me slowly fell apart with the rising sun, and I decided I was okay.

You can fit everything you need for a morning at the beach in one bag.

Face Time isn't good enough. I assumed turning the camera around so the boys could see the waves splash upon the shore would satisfy their longing. Wrong. "I want to be in the beach, mama!"

You can order the exact same meal at four different restaurants four times in a row without getting tired of it. This is not an exaggeration. Also, crab legs for days.

Vacations have the ability to be completely relaxing, and you can actually return home from them more energized than when you left. Who knew?!

Getting back into the swing of things is easier said than done. I was thrilled to run into my parents' house Saturday and stretch my arms around all three kids, but zero to sixty takes adjustment. We spent Sunday doing absolutely nothing with a side of staring at laundry and counting weeds; however, we're getting there. I've found the bottom of my hamper, all suitcases are empty, and I think I've gotten my kids de-programmed {wink and smile here}.

All I have to do is close my eyes and I'm back. I can smell the salt in the air, feel the cool water, and revel in the idea of having nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no one to change.

Then I'm snapped back by the sound of two boys and one firetruck and the smell of an overripe Nora. Although the former scenario seems like a much nicer version of paradise, the latter is just another day in mine. I was thankful to rent a piece of Florida for a while, but I'm happy to get back to the slice of life that belongs to me. Sleepy babies, sand toys, and all.